ryan l.

I heard about the Yankees signing Johnny Damon to a four-year, $52 million deal to play center field for them yesterday and just couldn’t believe it. Talk about sacraligious. How do you go from winning a World Series with the Bo-Sox to the F’in’ Yankees? I’m sure I speak for a lot of people when I say that I’m so tired of the Yankees. They spend all the money and teams like the Oakland A’s spend a fraction of the price and, minus the titles, does pretty damn well for themselves. Steinbrener needs a few classes in spend management before he drives himself into bankruptcy.

Anyway, on to the main reason I wrote this. Johnny Damon, as we have all noticed, went from clean-cut, young hustlin’ ball player to Jesus look-alike / caveman wannabe in a matter of a couple years. I think it was that collision in Oakland during the playoffs a few years back that knocked a screw loose. Well, I’m not sure how many people have realized this, but Mr. Damon is going to have to take the old razor to his full beard and the scissors to his past-shoulder-length hair if he expects to play for the Yankees. George doesn’t play around, Johnny! They have an image of overpaid “gentleman” to uphold afterall. Just look at how Giambi cleaned up (hair-wise, because we know he was still juicing) when he started with the Yanks. You’re in for a trip to the barber Johnny.

So three cheers for baseball’s latest traitor, Johnny Damon. Great player, seemingly nice person, money-hungry center fielder. Time to go from caveman to a clean shavin’ 12-year-old.